Yard Sale Buffs Unlimited.

If you ever have a desire to meet people from every walk of life, it's really quite simple... just have a yard sale. One thing I've noticed from yard sales I've had in the past and that is each time I've had one, the same types of people showed up. For simplicity, I will group them into six categories: the buyers, the lookers, the carriers, the bidders, the hagglers, and the mother hens.

Now the buyers are the ones that you wish you would see more of. They are there for one reason, and one reason only, and that is to spend money. It is not uncommon for them to spend up to $60.00 at one stop. They always have a bubbly personality and it's contagious. You get one too as they're handing over the cold, hard, cash.

The lookers, on the other hand, never intend to buy anything when they stop. They get out of their car, walk around looking at all your earthly belongs, never pick up anything, go back to their car, and drive off. They get their enjoyment out of leaving you with the impression that none of your stuff is worth having.

Then along comes the carriers. The carriers are actually lookers who try to disguise themselves as buyers. When they first arrive, they walk up to that one Item you thought you'd never sell, and pick it up. Once they have it in their possession, they carry it around with them while looking at your other belongings. They have been known to stay for up to twenty minutes, carrying that one item the entire time. Then, just as they approach you to pay, they seem to have a change of heart. They put the item down, walk to their car and drive away. It's a real let down for you, having had such high hopes of making 50 cents, and then seeing it vaporize before your eyes. Surely someone will want that item. Don't count on it.

Next we have the bidders. Now the bidder is an odd one. He's interested in spending money, but only seems interested in buying things that aren't for sale. My first yard sale, I bet I had 100 items for sale. Along comes this bidder, who was only interested in buying my son's bike, which was parked in my garage. "How much do you want for that?" he asked.

"Oh, that's not for sale, it's my son's bike." I replied.

"Well, how much do you want for it?" he persisted.

"It's not for sale!" my wife snapped.

With that, the guy walked back to his car, got in and drove away. I was actually glad that my wife stepped in, while my son still had a bike, because the guy was starting to get me thinking.

A majority of the people who come to yard sells are of the haggler variety. Hagglers won't pay the first price you ask for anything. Price tags? Forget it. They want a bargain on everything. If you say you want three dollars for something, they'll want to pay two-fifty. If you want two dollars, they'll offer a dollar. By the time our yard sale ended, I didn't think any of my stuff was worth more than a dime. Now the wife has a hard time with hagglers. She tries real hard to keep her cool, but on a couple of occasions she has lost it. I can tell when they start to get to her because she starts to turn red, and her breathing changes.

The mother hen will drive you nuts. They are the ladies who bring two or three little darlings with her as she looks around your sale. The entire time the mother hen is browsing, the kids are terrorizing the place. You become a thirty minute day care center. The kids use the record album as a frisbee, your rocker as a trampoline, and tear the head off the collector doll, but you don't dare say anything to them for fear of upsetting the mother hen. You certainly wouldn't want her to get upset and leave without spending that buck and a half. The only thing that helps you keep your sanity is knowing they will be gone soon.

So, if you ever decide to have a yard sale, just make a big sign, pull out your junk, and hold on to your hats. All of these folks will be heading your way. Within minutes, you'll have more people than you know what to do with.

Happy selling all!